Sunday, February 17, 2013

Tarot

Hari ini gue pergi sembahyangan ke Pura Gunung Salak dengan anak-anak KMHD UI yang lainnya. Janjinya sih berangkat jam 9, eh ternyata ujung-ujungnya jam setengah 11 juga berangkatnya. Perjalanan kesana cukup melelahkan. Di dalam bis yang tidak berAC kami berangkat kepanasan, sampai di pura kehujananan, dan balik ke Depok kelelahan. Pas perjalanan pulang balik ke Depok, gue diramal oleh salah seorang maba 2012 yang bisa baca kartu tarot. Berhubung di bis cukup lama karena macet, akhirnya gue tertarik untuk diramal. Sebenernya gue antara percaya dan ngga percaya sama tarot. Cuma gue pikir boleh juga dicoba apa salahnya. Lagian yang gue denger ramalan dengan tarot itu ternyata sudah bisa dijelaskan secara ilmiah dengan menggunakan ilmu psikologi. Gue ngga tau persis gimana, karna gue sendiri pun belum pernah baca tentang itu, cuma denger-denger doang.
Gue pengen diramal soal asmara, terlebih lagi si peramal ngga bersedia meramal hal-hal di masa datang yang sensitif seperti karir, sekolah, dan lain-lain. Akhirnya aktivitas meramal pun dimulai. Setelah dibaca kartu yang gue ambil, si peramal langsung ketawa. Dan dia pun menjelaskan apa makna dari kartu tersebut. Ramalannya adalah di kartu itu dikatakan bahwa gue adalah orang yang pasif kalo soal beginian. Maksudnya adalah, gue ngga terlalu ambil pusing ada atau ngganya pacar. Dan kalau pacaran pun gue kayak ngga terlalu peduli gitu. Gue tipenya penunggu, jadi gue bakalan nunggu orang yang tepat, dan kalaupun memang belum ada ya gue ngga pernah berusaha untuk membuat itu ada. Dia juga bilang gue terkesan ‘menggampangkan’ yang namanya pacaran. Maksudnya ketika orang yang deket sama gue tiba-tiba pergi akibat kepasifan gue, gue seolah oke-oke aja dengan itu. Gue ngga berusaha untuk memperbaiki hubungan, pun merasa menyesal sama sekali. Selain itu, dia juga bilang kalau gue punya mimpi dalam hidup gue yang kuat banget dan gue berusaha untuk ngedapetin itu sehingga ngga terlalu memikirkan yang namanya punya pacar. Gue ngga terlalu ambil pusing ada pacar atau ngga, asalkan mimpi gue itu tercapai. Tapi di akhir, si peramal bilang kalau gue suatu saat bakalan nemu orang yang bakal klik banget sama gue, bisa dibilang soul mate gitu deh. Nah saran dia ketika gue udah ketemu tuh orang, jangan dilepas. Dalam artian gue ngga boleh pasif lagi dan setidaknya lebih berusaha menjaga hubungan itu.
Hhhmmm..menurut gue semua yang dibilang si peramal itu bener banget banget banget. Gue memang punya mimpi dalam hidup gue yang telah menarik perhatian gue selama ini dari yang namanya pacar. Gue lebih fokus kesana dan nyaman dengan itu. Dan soal gue pasif, bener juga. Kalau soal asmara gue memang pasif. Ngga pernah ada dalam kamus hidup gue yang namanya ngejar-ngejar cowok, sms cowok duluan, atau yang semacamnya. Cuma ya semua itu menurut gue tergantung waktu. Ada waktunya gue bakal ngga pasif ketika gue merasa klik dengan orang tersebut. Kalau dipikir-pikir kok gue terkesan egois banget ya dari semua ramalan itu? Hehe..tapi ya gue menyadari kok memang begitu. Mungkin itu semua juga karena gue belum nemu orang yang klik sama gue. Siapa tau semua berubah menjadi sebaliknya ketika orang itu udah datang.hehe.. Btw seru juga diramal. Setidaknya dengan semua ramalan itu kita bisa refleksi diri, dan jika memang itu ngga baik ya bisa diubah dari sekarang. Yang penting gue berdoa yang terbaik aja deh, siapapun dia dan kapanpun dia datang. ^_^

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

My 21st Birthday Wishes


Happy birthday to ME!! Yeah!! Hari ini adalah hari pertama gue menginjak usia 21 tahun. Ngga ada yang spesial, tapi gue bahagia. Walau kata orang jomblo di hari ulang tahun tuh ngga enak, apalagi deket valentine, tapi gue tetep bahagia. Seperti kata Kelly Clarkson dalam lagunya yang berjudul What doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger, ada petikan liriknya yang berisi ‘doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone’. Ini kalimat gue banget. Walaupun gue belum ada pacar atau sejenisnya, tapi gue ngga lonely karena gue masih punya keluarga dan teman2 yang sayang sama gue. Mereka lah yang membuat gue bahagia dan terus semangat dalam melangkah. ^_^
Anyway, apa ya yang spesial dari usia 21 ini? Hhhmm..kalau bagi kebanyakan orang asia, usia 21 itu adalah usia yang biasa saja, maksudnya ya ngga ada spesial2nya. Biasanya yang spesial itu adalah usia 17 tahun dimana seorang anak sudah mulai menginjak masa remajanya. Tapi, kebanyakan orang di negara-negara barat menganggap usia 21 itulah yang spesial, karena di usia inilah seorang remaja sudah dianggap dewasa. Gue ngga tau persis alasannya apa, yang jelas ya begitu.hehe.. Terlepas dari itu, di Indonesia pun umur 21 tahun itu menunjukkan sebuah kedewasaan yang bahkan sudah diatur oleh undang-undang. Seseorang dikategorikan sebagai dewasa bila ia sudah menikah atau berumur 21 tahun. Nah, sekarang apakah arti sebuah kedewasaan? Kedewasaan itu menurut gue adalah sebuah keahlian, keahlian untuk mengontrol diri sendiri dan mulai mampu berpikir untuk kepentingan orang lain. Disini seseorang dikatakan sudah dewasa bila egonya sudah berkurang. Berkurang lho ya, bukan hilang sama sekali.hehe..
Harus seneng apa sedih ya di usia 21 ini? Hhhmm..yang jelas keduanya. Seneng karena mungkin dengan bertambahnya usia gue bisa lebih dewasa dalam setiap langkah yang gue tempuh, sedihnya ya berarti sudah semakin tua.haha.. Umur 21 itu jelas udah ngga ABG lagi, jelas sudah semakin banyak tanggung jawab yang harus gue emban, setidaknya tanggung jawab akademis dan kehidupan pribadi gue sendiri. Doa gue untuk diri sendiri pada intinya cuma satu, gue berharap jadi orang yang lebih baik. Lebih baik dalam segala hal tentunya.
Masih banyak mimpi gue selama kuliah yang HARUS gue wujudkan, dan untuk itu gue harus berusaha. Gue sedikit deg-degan memulai semester 6 ini. Alasannya karena gue udah satu semester vakum dari dunia perkuliahan di UI, karena gue sempet liburan lama banget selama dua bulan, dan karena semester ini mata kuliahnya luar biasa banget. Semester ini gue ambil 7 mata kuliah wajib dengan 20 sks. Memang semua wajib, dan gue ngga ambil mata kuliah pilihan lagi, tapi yang wajib itu aja pun udah sangat menguras otak dan keringat. Well gue berharap semua baik-baik aja dan bahkan semakin baik dari sebelumnya.
Last but not least, gue mau bilang makasih atas semua doa dan ucapan yang sangat berharga buat gue. Siapapun orang terdekat gue yang tidak mengucapkan, sangat gue maklumi. Mungkin mereka lupa atau ngga sempet. Itu sering terjadi sama gue, karna ngga semua ulang tahun orang bisa kita inget, dan jujur ngingetin tanggal itu SUSAH! Haha.. mungkin untuk hal ini gue agak berbeda dengan kebanyakan wanita yang sangat inget tanggal, bahkan inget tanggal pertama kali ia bertemu kekasihnya.. -__-
Ok, welcome my 21st , wish we can do well together. Happy birthday to me! ^_^

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Identity: What It Means for Youth


“Youth” is defined by UNESCO as a period of transition from the dependence of childhood to adulthood’s independence and awareness of our interdependence as members of a community. In psychology, youth are categorized as adolescence which is the period of many transitions ranging from the physical changes related to puberty to the psychological processes of identity formation to the social challenges of negotiating new patterns of relationships with family and peers (Santrock, 2012).
                Adolescence is a time of growth and development, possibility, and invulnerability, but also a time of stress, risk, and struggles. There is the paradox that often appears among adolescents. Stanley Hall’s view of adolescence is that adolescence is a period of ‘storm and stress’. It is because they are having a turbulent time, stormy conflicts & mood swings, however sometimes they can’t cope with it so that’s why they become stress. Nevertheless, Margaret Mead (1928, in Santrock, 2012) contended that the ‘storm and stress’ faced by adolescents is caused by the adolescents being treated so differently from adults. There are so many stereotypes adults have toward adolescents, ‘you so lazy, don’t know how to work hard, only think about sex, have it all easy, danger to society, and so on..’.  Adults are almost unable to think about adolescents in a more positive way. Regarding that matter, the question now is, is it right? Is it right that youths or adolescents are that bad and never be as good as adults wish from them? Is it appropriate to judge youths that way? Who are youths actually? This writing will answer these questions in a more comprehensive and scientific way of who youths are.
                Instead of thinking about adolescents as stormy agents as mentioned above, we’d rather see adolescents as the agent of change. Since they are in the period of transition, there are so many challenges being faced by adolescents in order to reach their own identity. Some people still think that they are just kids who still need full of guidance, but some others have high expectations toward them to be independent in their own way. This makes adolescents sometimes confused of what actually adults expect from them.
                Adults often underestimate adolescents as they are incapable of doing anything. Meanwhile, adolescents are the creatures with high spirit. They are curious toward many things and want to learn many things. In order to fulfill their curiosity, they have to be given many opportunities to explore themselves. Adults have to encourage hope, optimism, positive values, as well as tolerance. Their curiosity about so many things is in line with their efforts of pursuing their identity. Adolescents don’t know who they are and what they are supposed to do. Identity is self-integration, the piecing together of different aspects of the self (Erik Erikson, in Santrock, 2012). Identity is not simply about who one is, but also includes roles, hopes, will, views, and so on. Those things are integrated in oneself and become something which makes person special and unique. Identity can be either positive or negative, and it depends on the way individual copes with various alternatives in life.
In Erik Erikson’s Developmental Stage theory, adolescents are in the stage of identity synthesis vs. identity confusion. Erik Erikson argues that adolescents who do not successfully resolve the identity crisis suffer identity confusion. Identity is a self-portrait composed of many pieces, such as vocational/career identity, political identity, religious/spiritual identity, relationship identity, achievement, intellectual identity, sexual identity, cultural/ethnic identity, interests, personality, and physical identity/body image. In order to develop an identity, one must do an exploration during the entire life. It is obviously a gradual and lengthy process. The development of identity is very complex; it can be neither begun nor ended in adolescence. To develop a positive identity, one must have social support from parents, friends, school, and even the whole environment where they belong to.
People are faced with so many alternatives. Marcia identified 4 identity statuses by considering what she called crisis and commitment. The process involving choosing among meaningful alternatives is called crisis, whilst commitment is a personal investment in what an individual is going to do (outcome rather than process).Crisis can be either absent or present, and so does commitment.
Furthermore, there can be more than one identity of a person. As mentioned above, people are faced with so many alternatives, and they are regarded as having an identity synthesis as long as they have decided what the best is for them and they are comfortable with that. However, there are so many circumstances in this world which force individual to choose more than one options. For example, someone who is commonly known as honest can be extremely different when they get involved in a political field. They have to follow the system and stick at nothing. They eventually do corruption either because they can’t get rid of it or they really enjoy it. Here is where the honesty is being challenged. However, when they get back to their daily lives, they might not do the same thing. They might hold their identity as an honest person rather than greedy ones as who they are in the politics. Hence, one’s identity can be more than one depends on the situation. But then the question is, is it truly a more-than-one identity or is it an identity crisis instead? Identity crisis is marked by the process of choosing the alternatives. They still don’t know what’s best for them. However, when someone has made a decision even though for more than one thing and he does enjoy the flow, it is not a crisis anymore.  In other words, he has more than one identity in terms of honesty but in the different situation.  
Identity is not an everlasting kind of thing. There will always be a possibility for someone to lose his or her identity. How long will it last? And in what situation is the identity going to end? Meeus (2011, in Santrock, 2012) said that identity is more stable in adulthood than adolescence. This obviously means that identity can be unstable and someone might lose it in some way and time. In adolescence, most people are still in identity confusion and they do not yet make any commitment in life. When they’re getting older, their way of thinking becomes more advance and mature. This helps them make decisions more wisely and get easily committed to the things they have chosen. Furthermore, McAdams & Cox (2010, in Santrock, 2012) contended that resolution of identity during adolescence does not mean stability through the remainder of life. The stability of identity really depends on many factors. We can’t predict when one will lose his or her identity and when it will be replaced by another.
People have different identity. That difference can be influenced by who and where they belong to. The place, race, ethnic, and religion are all the tools for shaping one’s identity. An enduring aspect of the self that includes a sense of membership in an ethnic group, along with the attitudes and feelings related to that membership is called ethnic identity (Phinney, 2006, in Santrock, 2012). Is it apparent that one will develop the identity of the ethnicity where they live? The answer is no. Adolescent from a family who has migrated from one country to another and decided to live in that country before he was born, might not develop the ethnic identity of the country where he lives now, but he might develop the ethnic identity of his or her parents’ former country instead. In the case of ethnic minority groups, they usually have struggle of maintaining their ethnic identities while blending in with the dominant culture. Many adolescents resolve this choice by developing a bicultural identity.
Identity can be either self-made or given by the society. The proportion of these two is unobvious for every person. If we can observe, the pattern would be different for those from developing country and those from developed country. In my personal opinion, people from developed country most likely have greater proportion of self-made identity and people from developing country most likely have greater proportion of given identity. Why is it so? It is because in the developing country, people are more conventional and they keep their tradition really tight. This way of thinking sometimes makes them a little bit inflexible. Many things are inherited from their ancestors as well as the tradition people hold for so long. Hence, those traditions cause them develop their identity which fits the society. Whilst people from developed country are way more flexible in terms of tradition and culture. They are more individualistic which enables them to develop their own way of thinking as well as their identity. However, it doesn’t always work that way. This opinion is also the result of stereotyping and the proportion of self-made or given identity is always depending on the person himself. Nevertheless, everywhere the individual stays, the identity formation is always influenced by the stuffs like tradition, culture, social, politics, and so on. People might claim that they have their own view of something, but beyond their awareness, all of their views are all the result of their understanding and knowledge of their environment which involves culture, tradition, politics, etc.
In conclusion, identity is something very crucial to exist in oneself. Identity is not something to be obtained easily; it needs a gradual and complex process instead. The identity formation mostly begins in adolescence. However, it doesn’t mean that all adolescents are able to develop their identity.  There might be a phase where they are confused of who they are and what they are supposed to do in life. During their exploration, they might take it either positively or negatively. It all depends on oneself as well as social supports. The role of tradition, culture, politics, social, and so on are also very important in helping adolescents form their identity. Adolescents are said to be having many conflicts yet opportunities to improve themselves. Conflicts and opportunities are all the products made by adolescents and must also be completed and sought by themselves as well. However, adults’ support must also be consolidated to adolescents’ effort in order to help them build the positive identity.

References:
Santrock, John W. (2012). Adolescence (14th ed.). United States : McGraw-Hill.
http://www.unesco.org/new/en/social-and-human-sciences/themes/youth/youth-definition/